How to Build Self-Esteem: 3 Ways to Like Yourself Better

How to build Self-Esteem: 3 ways to Like Yourself Better

“I’m not skinny enough.” “I’m not smart enough.” “Nobody likes me.” “I hate myself.”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? Struggling with self-esteem can be difficult and many people work hard to increase their positive self-image. Lacking self-esteem can come from many different areas in life, but it has similar effects for everybody.

• Lacking confidence in your abilities.

• Disliking your appearance or self-image.

• Anxious about or fearing social relationships.

• Jealousy of others.

Are a few of many results of poor or low self-esteem. So, how do you overcome this difficult state of being? I will give you three tips to building self-esteem and beginning the journey to liking and trusting yourself.

First, though we must redefine what self-esteem is. I believe that self-esteem is a lack of trust and investment in yourself. If you think about the relationships in your life where you trust and invest your time, energy, money, etcetera. You likely have a high degree of “esteem” for the other person. That means you think highly of this other person and your relationship with them. You have taken the time to build a relationship with this person through shared experiences both good and bad. You have navigated some challenges and shared some victories. The two of you have learned about each other in a deep way.

Think about how you act in a relationship with a person you love or care about. You accept them with all their flaws and you celebrate all their strengths. Both of you have spent a lot of time together enjoying activities or exchanging gifts. Either way, you have spent a great deal of time cultivating a relationship with this person. Through this time spent, you begin to build trust and invest yourself in this relationship.

The trick to building self-esteem is very much the same principle. By building trust and investing in yourself, you will begin developing a loving relationship with yourself by which you build “esteem” for yourself.

1. Invest in something that will improve your mind or body.

Take the time to explore what activities you enjoy that will either expand your mind or your body. Investing in yourself through going back to school, taking a class, learning a new skill, starting a new hobby, going to the gym, or something similar build trust with yourself. You show yourself that you are worth the time and resources to build up. By putting yourself in situations where you are encouraged to grow, you learn to trust yourself.

2. Build a relationship with yourself.

Building trust and “esteem” for yourself is very similar to how you would do this with a friend. You start by building a relationship. How do you build a relationship with your self? Think about how your most successful relationships. This could be with your best friend or your close family member. What makes this relationship work? Why do you two get along so well? You spend time together.

Herein lies the secret to developing the relationship with yourself. Spend time with yourself and get to know who you are. This looks different for everybody, but I encourage you to engage in activities that you are excited about.. By engaging in these activities and putting yourself in situations where you may be uncomfortable at first. You are invited to act on your instincts and take risks. As you take these risk and spend time with yourself, trust is built just like in a relationship with another person.

3. Figure out what is important to you.

From an early age, we are warned about “peer pressure.” The influence of others can have over us can keep us from knowing ourselves. Learning about ourselves and our values as it helps us build trust with ourselves. Furthermore, we begin to know what to stand up for and we know specifically what our value is.

If we are unclear in our values we can struggle to know what to protect within ourselves. For instance, I know that a value of mine is strict work/life boundaries. I’m very assertive in protecting my time for family and friends, particularly if that time is infringed upon by work. By knowing that work/life balance is important to me, I protect my time. I communicate to myself that my time is valuable and it’s worth protecting. Doing this demonstrates my value to myself.

Ultimately, building self-esteem is not that difficult, once you’re pointed in the right direction. Self-esteem comes down to having a healthy, loving, compassionate relationship with yourself. Valuing your self happens over time. It happens when you are forced to trust yourself, take risks, and stand up for yourself.

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