Hooking Up or Looking for Love: 3 Ways to Use Dating Apps Responsibly

When I was growing up dating apps were not a thing. We had to meet people the old-fashioned way, on Myspace.

Nowadays all you have to do is swipe left or swipe right. Dating apps are completely integrated into our dating culture. These apps can be a great way to bring people together who otherwise may never cross paths.Meeting on a dating app or online dating used to be rather taboo. Now it's weird if you meet somebody in person and start dating.

These apps can also be useful for hooking up and having recreational sexual encounters. We are sexpositive over here at counselingwithnate.com so, there is no shame in enjoying a recreational sexual encounter from time to time. But, we have to be careful and make sure that we set ourselves up for success.

Let's face it, sex complicates things. Without a clear definition of how to engage in recreational sexual encounter through dating apps, we can get our feelings hurt. So, here are three ways to use dating apps/hookup apps responsibly.

1. Be honest about your intentions

Be honest with yourself and the other person. Are you looking to hookup or are you looking for a long-term romantic situation. Or, maybe you're just looking for some friends. It's okay if you don't know which of those you want, either way have a clear intention of what you hope to do when meeting people on dating apps. Being clear and identifying your goals are going to help you avoid getting your heartbroken or hurting someone else. Have an open dialogue with the other person and make sure that you clearly identify where you are at currently in your intentions. If things evolve, that's okay, just make sure that you have that dialogue as an ongoing part of the process.

2. Be very clear with the other person

Be very clear in your boundaries with the other person. If you're just interested in getting to know them, that's okay. Make sure you say that up front, setting your boundaries ahead of time will make it so that you can protect your heart. Sometimes we have a hard time knowing what boundaries to set, so I always start with the most strict boundaries first. This way you set yourself up to make sure that you communicate to the other person that you are worth respecting and you respect yourself.

These boundaries are up to you to define. No one else gets to tell you what these boundaries look like. If you decide that sex on the first date is okay, then that is what is okay. If you decide that sex is not okay on the first date, then that is also okay. Be very careful of people who try to coerce you or convince you that your boundaries are negotiable. The person worth hooking up with is going to respect exactly where you set the boundary.

3. Always, ALWAYS have safe sex!

Make sure that you are using safe sex practices every time you hook up. This should be a non-negotiable for you. Non-negotiables are the boundaries or practices that are not up for debate. Your health is worth protecting and needs to be respected. Practicing safe sex is a self-care practice. Make sure that you are getting tested regularly for sexually transmitted infections because safe sex is the best sex.

No matter if you are looking to hookup or looking for love, dating apps can be a great way to meet people. It's really important that you make sure you set the rules for yourself and the other person. These rules must be respected by the other person and there is no room for debate. If this person tries to coerce you or force you to negotiate where you're not ready to, they got to GTFO.

Remember that you are worth taking care of and you are worth being respected. If you’re interested in learning more, please head on over to www.counselingwithnate.com